


Letting Go

by Rikerbabe



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 08:17:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikerbabe/pseuds/Rikerbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to let go.......</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> My take on Jean-Luc's feelings about Beverly and William's relationship and wedding. Comments and suggestions are welcomed!

I'm sitting in a dimly lit corner, watching Beverly and Will at their table across the room. They're holding hands and she's laughing at something he's said. Their wedding was a few weeks ago, and it's obvious that they are in love. The crew is still celebrating, but I can't. I've known her longer than Will, and have secretly loved her for at least 20 years. I failed to act on those feelings and now I've lost her to my first officer. I just stood by and let her go.

Odan wasn't the first to come between her and me, and wasn't the last. She is a beautiful woman, with those blue eyes that sparkle and a warm, caring smile. I can't fault any man, or Will for that matter, to fall in love with her. Deep inside I seethe with resentment and perhaps anger, or even rage. Guinan had explained that with Odan's death and the symbiont temporally placed into Will had changed her feelings about me. She had fallen in love with Odan and then with Will. But I had dismissed that, keeping a tiny spark of hope that all those feelings would pass and she would still have feelings, even if they were hidden, for me.

They broke the news a few days ago that they were expecting twins. Children! I'm not comfortable around them, but Will is. He accommodated the families on our previous ship Enterprise D and made sure to know them all. I could never bring myself to be around children, and Will had done that for me. She's glowing and very happy, I can see that from my corner of the room. Deanna had gently reminded me that I had to deal with my feelings towards both of them both professionally and privately as well. I feel that they are flaunting their relationship in front of me and it does sting.

Laughter floats from their table as they are talking to Geordi and Worf, who have stopped at their table. Several Ensigns at a table near mine have started talking about the twins and guessing the genders. One Ensign from Sciences has suggested a boy and a girl, while another one from Astrocartography stated it would be two boys. And a third from Engineering has predicted two girls. All of this is too much for me to take, and I rise to return to my quarters seeking peace and quiet from all of the emotions around me.

Returning to my quarters, I collapse on the couch and close my eyes. The image of them together is still fresh in my mind. _Damn!_ I swear, gritting my teeth. But then I suddenly realize that she wasn't mine to begin with. Beverly was a grown woman who could and did make her own decisions. Somehow she knew that I would never advance our friendship into something more. She had moved on with her life, but I hadn't. I was holding on to a dream of what could never come true.

Rising from the couch, I walk over to the cold storage unit and pull out a bottle of the family wine I had sent for some months back. Pouring a glass of it, I raise it towards the direction of Nine-Forward _To you Beverly and Will.......Congratulations......”_ I had finally let go and started to live once more.


End file.
